I'M ALIVE. I AM WELL. ALL IS WELL.
I know its been like 2 months again, but its because its just been a crazy time. I'm on anti-anxiety meds now, so for the most part, thats all sorted out.I did actually have another chemical exposure though, this time to what was almost certainly P4O10. It was better this time though cus I didn't panic. Anyway.
I'm more than halfway through my Honours year now (WTF) and I really need to get cracking on my thesis. I've got some good data, now I just need to start getting it down in words (while still gathering more data, of course). I've been working on thermogravimetric analysis (TGA) of my materials, which tells me more about how they form under the 500C heat, and using X-ray Photoelectron Spectroscopy (XPS) to tell me more about the actual molecular structure of the polymer chains. It's relatively slow work, but its getting somewhere now. I worry that due to how much time off I've had (due to anxiety mainly) my thesis won't be very high quality, but I have committed to finishing the year now. It will be finished, no matter how high quality.
Doing a hike this weekend in the Blue Mountains! Excited.
Been a little while now. More than a month. I should really write here more often.
It's been a pretty hard time lately. My anxiety hasn't really improved, and has become more generalised (meaning its not just about the chemistry thing anymore, its broader). I'm coping for now, but I'm now looking at professional help, because this just isn't sustainable.
ANYWAY.
Cool things are afoot, despite the constant suckiness of my personal situation. My project is making progress!!! I'm working on characterising some zero-carbon polymers which are being used as thermally insulating materials. Jargon I know. Basically imagine something like styrofoam, but its made out of biodegradable materials, that also act as fertiliser, that is a thermal insulator. This stuff could keep your house warm in winter, folks. It's super cool to be working on something like this.
I'm also really getting into the swing of lab demonstrating. I'm really really enjoying having a class and getting to know them, and it's made me more interested in doing a Master's in Teaching after this Honours year is over. My lab demo partner Gracie also has the same idea, except she's doing her PhD rn and wants to drop out. It's made me more seriously consider whether or not I want to do my PhD. So I'll keep you guys updated on that.
Apart from that, everything has been pretty chilllllllllllllllll. Catch ya guys next time (whenever that ends up being lol)
Wowzers. So much has happened since the last entry that its hard to get it all down. On the 3rd of March, I was going about my work, making some lithium borophosphate in the furnace, when I put some of the LiH2PO4 / H3BO3 mixture into a preheated crucible and it started hissing. Not good. If you've ever been in a lab before, you know that hearing any kind of hissing that you're not expecting is scary. I immediately moved the crucible into the furnace and went outside, because I thought I might've breathed something in. I went and looked at the literature about what I could have breathed in, and what I saw wasn't good. It may have been phosphorous pentoxide, P4O10. Let me give you an idea of what this particular chemical does:
- 1 molecule of P4O10 breaks down into 4 molecules of phosphoric acid. (Just think of typical scary acid).
- It causes severe respiratory distress.
- It can cause pulmonary edema (fluid in lungs), but it can take up to 72 hours to appear.
- At the temperature of the furnace (500C) its a completely colourless gas. Fun.
So. There I was. I believed I had just inhaled an incredibly toxic gas. So naturally I panicked. I felt like I couldn't breathe. (please refer back to the 2nd point of my list.) I was having a panic attack, but at the time I truly believed I might have died if I didn't get help. I got a labmate to call the ambulance because I couldn't breathe, and I got whisked off to hospital. They established that I was fine, but I had to stay there for observation for an hour or so. My girlfriend Z came with me, so I wasn't too bored (sorry for the scare Z X|). Anyway, I took like 2 weeks off since because I was pretty shaken by the whole ordeal, but I'm back now! Hoping to get back into things, and hopefully put more consistent updates on here. Until next time/
My first entry! How quickly this time will go. Today I did,,,,,,,,,, not much. I'm currently doing a housesit close to uni so I'm finding it much easier to make it in everyday (much shorter commute) which is nice. In terms of actual work, I did some CHEM1 lab practice (I'm a demonstrator!) and I finished some systems training. Not too much work relating to my project except for the odd paper I read every now and then. I plan on doing some more solid work on my project tomorrow.